


A Mark Like Mine (The Loneliest Number Remix)

by masterlokisev159



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, Falling In Love, From bond shock, Hospitalization, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possessive Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Sacrifice, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29266755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterlokisev159/pseuds/masterlokisev159
Summary: When Tony Stark was born, he had dozens of soul marks scattered across his skin. After Afghanistan, he had none.Steve Rogers has only ever had one soul mark. And that was since he woke up.People are born with multiple marks. All Tony has ever prayed for is just one to call his own. Whoever Steve's soulmate is, they're the luckiest person alive.Tony would give anything to have someone. Especially someone like Steve.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 15
Kudos: 358
Collections: 2021 Captain America/Iron Man Remix Exchange





	A Mark Like Mine (The Loneliest Number Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Loneliest Number](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496616) by [hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice). 



> People are born with all the soul marks of the people that might one day be their soulmate. Tony has watched as all of his fade away. Steve has only ever had one.
> 
> A story about marks and soulmates and love. Maybe Tony isn't as alone as he thought.

When Tony was younger, he was different. Not massively different to others or anything, but different to how things were now. He was different back then. He’d changed over time.

It had all started when he was six years old. His mother had pulled him aside from his circuits and had placed him on her lap with a gentle smile. 

_“Anthony, do you know what these are?” She’d asked, and Tony still remembered his exact words._

“ _No mama._ ” He’d replied, giggling lightly when his mom had traced her gentle fingers over the smooth lines running in the creases of his wrist on his left arm.

 _“They’re soul marks. A mark for each person who will love you. And you have many, my sweet.”_ She’d smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead and to this day, Tony could still remember his exact thoughts.

_How can someone be loved by so many?_

It had turned out he’d been right. Over the years that followed, Tony had begun to learn that while you could have many soul marks, that did not necessarily mean you had many soulmates.

For instance, him and his mother had counted twenty three marks on his body that day. But by the time he’d turned eight, he was down to fifteen.

Reality had started to sink in. And yet somehow the dream had still been easier to cling onto.

He’d stayed true to himself. He did well in boarding school, graduated from MIT with flying colors and later went on to take some projects on for SI. 

It hadn’t helped. His marks continued to vanish until eventually he was down to ten. And then his parents died.

_Boy, they’d want you to do this. They’d want you to take over._

Obie had pushed him to go on, but it hadn’t been without consequences. The loss of his parents and the burden of being a CEO at such a young age had been too much for him to bear. He’d slept with anyone and everyone in a desperate bid for comfort. Any chance to find even one of the people who had a matching mark was worth the risk.

It had all been for nought though. After a particularly bad night that he barely remembered, he vaguely recalled waking up and turning to see the mark on his wrist disappear. That had solidified it for him. He had to change.

Not long after, Afghanistan happened. For a short while, Tony had wondered if maybe, by some cruel twist of fate, Yinsen was a carrier of one of his marks. Or worse, Raza.

Neither had been, but Yinsen’s death broke something in him. Iron man was born but Tony Stark had been buried somewhere deep in the sand where the last scraps of the Mark 1 lay. Somewhere, sometime during the heat and the sand, the weight of his actions and the dust under his feet, he’d trudged through the burning desert in a last ditch effort to save himself from the inevitable. 

When Rhodey had found him, he'd apparently started crying. He didn’t remember it but Rhodey had seen it.

And Rhodey had told him what he’d said.

_“You told me they were gone. You told me it was over. That you lost your chance. And you kept screaming it. It’s over.”_

When he'd gotten home, there was nothing on his body. No marks, no last traces, not even a whisper of what had once been. Only the deep scars from the arc reactor and the memory of fire and Yinsen’s last words.

That had been when he’d given up. Had dropped the pretenses and stopped lying to himself. He’d finally accepted the truth.

_I have no one. I am alone._

_And I will always be alone._

* * *

“You’ll host the team Stark. I don’t care if you don’t like it. You’ll do it.”

“The hell I will!”

“Tony.” Tony heard from his left and turned to meet Steve’s pleading eyes. The eyes of a soldier searching desperately for a home. Or a sneaky super soldier looking for a free ride. He’d never pictured Steve to be an exploiter of all things.

“Oh sure.” Tony rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “You’re welcome. Just don’t let the door hit you on the way in.”

“Great.” Steve beamed and Tony almost gaped at the sheer one-eighty. It was even worse when he saw the shit-eating grins on his new team-mates faces when he cast them a horrified glance.

“I’ve been played!” Tony gasped in disgust and glared at Fury. “You can’t force me to-“

“Oh, you’ll find that I can, Stark.” Fury smirked and suddenly pulled out a folder from under the table. He slid it across and waited with a knowing smile as Tony frowned and picked it up and opened it. When Tony read it, he paused.

For a second he struggled to formulate words. Then-

“Really?”

“It had to be done.”

“But...” Tony couldn’t tear his eyes away from the final notes. The signatures and the clear directive. “I thought you...”

“Are you seriously surprised? After everything you’ve done.” Fury said lazily and sat back down, gesturing at Steve. “We both agreed.”

“It’s right Tony.” Steve smiled. “You’re a part of this team as much as any of us.”

Nat leaned forward too. “Agreed.” And Clint nodded, while Bruce and Thor shrugged and smiled.

“But I...” He couldn’t believe it. There had to be some mistake. Some-

Slowly he looked up and met Fury’s calm, almost hidden expression. The man was like a Sphinx.

Still, something inside Tony loosened a little. Like a wire unwinding. A door opening and revealing a glimmer of light. He could feel something relaxing in him.

But he had to be sure.

“I thought I was not recommended.”

“That was a mistake in the initial assessment. I think you’ll find you’re the most recommended. Congratulations Stark. You’re an Avenger.”

And that was the start. He was an _Avenger._

* * *

The Avengers began living with him shortly after that. And had seemed to make themselves pretty comfortable.

Tony had given everyone their own floor and had given them a group floor for all of them to spend time together. And by them, he meant the others. That didn’t include him.

From what Jarvis had told him, Natasha and Clint had quickly claimed the training areas, while Bruce had claimed one of the labs on the communal floor and Steve and Thor had claimed the living area. That was the one thing that Tony found a little odd. Were Steve and Thor talking _that_ much?

Either way, he was content to stay in his penthouse and let them all carry on. Just because they all thought he was an Avenger didn’t mean he really belonged with them. He was happy enough by himself. 

Plus he didn’t want anyone poking questions about his self imposed celibacy. Something the media and the rest of the world had no idea about. 

He hadn’t been intimate with anyone since he lost his last mark. He’d paid off a few people here and there, but not once had he actually shown his body to anyone. Swimming and shared showers and even wearing his tanks around the team was not something he wanted to entertain. They’d work it out if he did.

_“Sir, Thor is requesting your presence. He says he would like to speak to you in private.”_

Tony was in the middle of adjusting one of the locks in the face plate. He really didn’t have time for this.

“Could it wait? I’m a little busy right now.”

_“Sir, he is willing to come to you. He says it won’t take long.”_

Goddammit. “Fine.” Tony mumbled and did a quick check to make sure he was indeed wearing a t-shirt rather than anything more revealing. “Tell him he can come up-“

No sooner than he said the words did the doors to his lab slide open. And in walked Thor.

Tony blinked in shock. “Were you just waiting there?”

Thor, the literal _God of Thunder_ just gave him a broad smile and held out his arms with joy.

“Man of Iron! Come, I shall embrace you!”

“Uhhh...what?” If Tony wasn’t careful, he would’ve dropped his tool. Luckily, he was more skilled than that. But that didn’t change the question.

“We must rejoice! I believe a celebration is in order!” Thor explained and stepped closer until his broad arms wrapped around Tony and pulled him into a warm hug.

Tony hated how nice it felt. He’d never admit it to anyone.

“What’re we celebrating?” He mumbled, scowling into Thor’s shoulder, which to his disappointment, was just as warm as the rest of the god.

“Why the Captain’s news of course!” Thor beamed but frowned a little when he pulled back and saw Tony’s expression. “You don’t know?”

“No, I really don’t.”

“The Captain has a soulmark. It appeared after he woke up from the ice.”

_Oh. Right. Of course._

“Then why are we celebrating now?” Tony blinked and hoped Thor couldn’t hear the anguish in his voice. Or see how badly his hands were starting to shake. 

“The Captain believes he has found his soulmate. He believes they have already begun their matching.”

“You mean bonding?”

“Yes.” Thor said brightly and lowered his tone. “He is pleased. We should celebrate this with him for he is not alone.”

Not alone. Not like him. Not like someone broken.

Reluctant, Tony nodded. “No problem. I can get something organised. Give me time and I’ll have it sorted.”

“Excellent!” Thor said and slammed his hand on his back a few times. “He will be most pleased!”

“Sure.” Tony said with a shakey smile. Then he swallowed and looked at Thor carefully.

“Hey Thor? Do you have a soulmate?” He asked, and watched something soften in Thor's gaze.

“Of course! Everyone is blessed! It is our gift!”

Feeling empty inside, Tony nodded and looked away.

Even a god said everyone had one. What did that say about him?

_Worthless. Empty. Soulless._

_Mate-less._

* * *

As promised, with the help of Pepper, Tony managed to arrange a small gathering for Steve within three weeks. He managed to contact Steve’s new friends from Shield, some old members of the Howling Commandos, and even Maria and Fury. It was a nice group and everyone had brought a few close friends. From the glass balcony up top, Tony watched Jane and Thor approach Bruce and Erik Selvig by the bar. He had to admit, it was fun watching them all look so confused at each other, especially when Thor would talk about some Bilgesnipe from Asgard. He could even see Natasha casting them an amused look in the background.

“Hey. Do you mind if I stand here?” 

Shaken from his thoughts, Tony turned and met the man of the hour. Steve was wearing a very attractive light blue shirt and some very well cut jeans that did wonders for his ass. He’d gotten a haircut, Tony noted and he had to admit, it really suited him.

“Sure. It’s a free country after all. And you freed it.” Tony laughed a little and settled back to leaning his elbows over the balcony. He felt good about this party. It was comfortable and nothing like any of his old parties. He was done with that. He was an Avenger now after all.

An Avenger. They’d actually made him an _Avenger._

“So I guess I should thank you.” He heard Steve say as he settled beside him. “This really is something.”

“Thanks but you should really thank Thor.” Tony pointed out and gestured towards the cackling God in the center of the room. “It was really his idea.”

“You’re the one who organised it.” Steve retorted and Tony flicked his eyes over the way Steve’s hands were fidgeting over the balcony. “So thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And congrats. To you and your soulmate.” 

Beside him, Steve seemed to freeze. His hands hovered in the air and didn’t move a fraction. When Tony turned to look up, he saw a pained expression on his face, like he’d just realized something awful. Like Tony had just delivered bad news or stepped on a landmine.

It almost made Tony want to step back.

“Uh Cap? You okay there buddy?”

Steve said nothing. He just continued to stare ahead, jaw tightening with each second.

“Cap? You there?”

“You hate me don’t you?” Steve suddenly said, sounding extremely upset and wow, okay, that wasn’t what-

“I-wait, what? I don’t-“ Tony honestly didn’t know where that had come from. “I don’t _hate_ you. Where’d you get that idea?”

“You never talk to me. You don’t even come down to the communal floor. Hell, you don’t even talk to me at meetings.” Steve sighed and Tony almost wanted to say something he’d regret because Steve didn’t know that he had trouble fitting in. That he was soulless. That people didn’t like him, not this perfect picture of all things good.

No one hated Captain America. Not even him.

Feeling his cheeks burn, Tony ducked his head in shame. 

“I don’t hate you. I just...”

He heard a bitter laugh and felt something shrivel up inside when he saw how resigned Steve looked.

“You don’t even wanna look at me. Even now. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He laughed with no humor. “I was awful to you. On the Helicarrier. I said some awful things to you.”

“No, I mean, I said some pretty awful things too. I didn’t actually mean-“

“You’re more than the men I knew. You’re definitely more.” Steve turned to him and sighed. “I was wrong about you. I think you’re the first to make the sacrifice play. Am I wrong?”

Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that. And the way Steve was just staring at him and eyeing him carefully told him that there was no point pretending Steve didn’t know. He was right.

And maybe it wasn’t all selfless. After all, he had no one waiting for him at home. And with Steve having found his soulmate and Tony being the only one who was soulless, it just made sense for him to-

“I never want to see you pull a stunt like that again.” Steve said sharply, his face morphing into glare as he drilled his gaze into Tony like he was pinning him down. “I’ll only say this once. You will never put yourself at risk like that again.”

Instantly Tony felt on the back foot. Steve’s expression was fierce and he seemed tense like he was seconds away from grabbing him or something and Tony really didn’t know what to make of it. For a second he even wondered if Steve knew what he was thinking, _though that couldn’t be true_. Either way, he couldn’t really say much to that.

There was an awkward moment of silence between them. After a few minutes of just looking at each other, Steve seemed to make a decision and stuck his hand out with a smile.

“Let’s start over. I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Tony.” He tentatively took Steve’s hand and shook it, trying not to look too hard into Steve’s pleased expression. “Congrats on finding your soulmate. Are they here tonight?”

“Of course.” Steve grinned as Tony let go. “They’re here. I don’t plan on letting them go too far. From now on.”

“Hmmm.” Tony tilted his head and returned to his position of leaning over the balcony edge. Steve didn’t copy him this time but instead leaned with his elbow and kept his body facing Tony’s, and really that was just unfair since Steve looked far too good in the shirt and jeans that it was making Tony feel a little bit uncomfortable around his own pants-

“So why did you choose to wait till now?” Tony coughed and waved his hand towards the crowd. “I would’ve thought you’d have approached them sooner. Have you approached them? Actually, who is your soulmate?”

“Ah well.” Steve twitched uncomfortably under the scrutiny. “I’ve met them but they don’t know yet. It’s sort of something I plan to keep close to the chest for a while. I haven’t opened up the bond yet, and since they don’t know-“

Tony felt his eyes widen. “You’re not gonna tell them? You have a soulmate and you’re not gonna tell them?”

Steve swallowed and shook his head. 

“That’s...well if you’re sure. Oh, is it because you’re not sure with the mark?”

“No, I know. The mark is very, _very_ clear, trust me. Only Thor knows and he recognized it too so. And I’ve only ever had one mark as everyone who wrote the history books knows-“

“Is it Thor?”

Steve’s lips twitched up like he was enjoying himself. “Would that bother you if it was?”

“No.” Tony rolled his eyes and clasped his hands together firmly. “It’d be pretty hypocritical to judge.” He shrugged and to his delight, Steve relaxed his shoulders a little.

“Good.”

“Cap.” Tony frowned suddenly and studied the crowd below carefully. “Where is your soulmate?”

“Oh they’re here Tony. Don’t worry about that.”

Realization dawned on Tony. No wonder Thor had been so excited.

“It’s someone we know.”

“They don’t know yet.” Steve was quick to say, like he was trying to hush Tony or keep things down. “I haven’t told them, but yes, it’s someone we know.”

“That’s...amazing.” Tony said in a hushed tone as something twisted in his heart. Steve was really lucky to find someone so quickly. And what were the chances it was one of them? Someone he got to be with every day or close to.

“Yeah, it is.” Steve smiled and then stopped and looked at him for a second before leaning closer. “Do you wanna see my mark?”

A bark of laughter escaped before he could stop it.

“That’s a nice gesture Cap but that’s for your mate’s eyes. You don’t wanna show me first!” 

Steve eyed him carefully again before smiling a little. “Maybe I do. But that’s fine, I’ll show you some other time. I’m surprised though, most people are dying to see my mark. It being Captain America’s mark and all.” 

“Yeah well.” It was better not to open up that kettle of fish. He didn’t need Steve knowing that he’d once dreamed of having his mark. Or that he was afraid of Steve asking to see his. “I’m not really interested in that kind of stuff. I prefer to keep those kinds of things under tabs.”

“That’s fair. My therapist says I need to try opening up more so that’s what I’m doing.” Steve shrugged calmly like he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell. “She says it would help my adjustment and my PTSD.”

“My therapist says the same!” Tony exclaimed and instantly clamped his mouth shut when he realized what he’d just told Steve. Mortified, he ducked his head to hide how red his face was going.

“You have a therapist too?” Steve asked gently and to Tony’s surprise he didn’t comment on the PTSD. Small wonders he guessed.

“Yeah. I needed one after Afghanistan. Rhodey’s idea.” He admitted quietly and risked a weary glance in Steve’s direction, waiting for the inevitable onslaught of disbelief and cutting comments about how there were men and women out there who had been through far more than he had. What he saw however, was much more than he’d hoped for.

Steve was looking at him with a kind expression. There was understanding in his eyes and sorrow at the thought of their suffering. But it was nice that Steve understood him, even if it was just a little. Tony didn’t really have anyone to talk to except for Rhodey and Pepper but even then they didn’t truly understand.

And he’d not told anyone other than them about his therapist. Steve was truly the first stranger to know. Which meant he wasn’t a stranger anymore.  
  
“You know, I think we have more in common than we both thought.” Steve said with a growing smile like he knew what Tony was thinking and before Tony even realized, he was doing the exact same. Like they were reading each other’s mind.

* * *

After that talk at the party, things changed.

For the first time ever, Tony actually wanted to spend more time with Steve and the others. There was something about him that put Tony at ease.

Whenever they invited him, he started to accept their invitations more. Maybe it was the way Thor smiled when he saw him, or the glare he’d get whenever he hesitated in front of Nat. Or maybe it was the look of relief of Bruce’s face.

(And Steve. The mixture of all three expressions on his face.)

He wondered if Steve had taken some kind of liking to him. Even when Tony stood up and went to do some work, Steve would always jump up and follow. He’d even made himself at home in one of the corners of the lab.

It was odd. But not bad.

“Hey Tony.” Steve smiled at him on one bright morning when Tony had just started to sink his teeth into the engine of an old Harley Davidson. “Do you mind if I draw you? I’m trying to get back into it, you know?”

That had caught his attention. Tony nearly banged his head under the bike. 

“You wanna draw me?” Tony blurted and tried not to blush when he saw Steve leer at him.

“Of course.” Steve said after he stopped and smiled at him innocently. “There’s a lot to work with.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“What-no! You’re not fat.”

“So...”

“You’re just...more.” Steve said softly and for a moment Tony paused and looked up.

Steve was watching him with a gentle gaze and there was something close to pride in his eyes. Like Tony was something to be proud off. 

“You’re more too.” Tony found himself saying and Steve just shook his head and reached for his pencils.

“Guess that means we’re a great match. Now hold still. I need to get a good look.”

* * *

Some time between being declared an Avenger and that conversation with Steve, Tony’s awareness of the situation had heightened.

He was eating more, laughing more and speaking to others more. Even his therapist was seeing improvement.

One day his therapist had even suggested a group session with Steve and his therapist, just to see how it would go which had actually been something Tony had agreed to.

The conversation had been eye opening;

_“Sometimes I still think about the ice. Even now, the cold just doesn’t feel right.”_

_“I can’t stand in the shower for more than twenty minutes. It’s just...too much.”But it's getting better."_

They’d both come home better for it and Tony had felt a new level of comfort around Steve. It was like Steve understood him in a way that others didn’t. Had a similar view of the world even if his response was different. To Tony, Steve was safe.

Steve and through him, the others too. They were a team. Maybe even a family.

So it wasn’t surprising when one evening, on movie night of all nights did Clint bring up the topic of soul marks.

“Look, I’m just saying, if one of my soulmates came into my life, I’d one-hundred percent retire, right here and now.”

“Oh please. Like you’d last a day.”

Nat and Clint were lying on each other on one of the three couches positioned around the huge TV. Bruce and Thor had claimed the couch opposite and Steve was seated in the center couch. 

Tony had just walked in with the popcorn when he heard Clint’s voice. He paused by the door and waited.

“Not everyone finds their soulmates Clint. You should retire. If I had the option to, I know I would.” Steve replied and Tony frowned at that. Didn’t Steve already know who his soulmate was?

“Don’t you already know who your soulmate is?” Nat quizzed for him which Tony was grateful for.

“I do. But they don’t know. I’m keeping them safe.” And Tony could hear Steve smiling as he spoke. “Besides. It’s not like I can stop them. My soulmate has plenty of spark, I don’t even think it’s surprising.”

“Steve, when are you gonna tell-“

“So what’s on the menu tonight? Star Wars? I vote Star Wars.” Tony butt in, cutting off that conversation with a flashy smile. It did the job because Steve immediately stopped and Nat just stared at him.

“Tony, what-“

“Hmm, Steve which one do you prefer? Starting with the first release or actually doing it right-“

“Tony.” Bruce interrupted gently and when Tony looked at him, Bruce gestured to Nat. 

“Nat was just asking Steve about his soul mark.” Bruce helpfully pointed out and Tony had to suppress the urge to glare. 

As Tony made himself comfortable, he resigned himself to the inevitable questioning there’d be. As always with this kind of thing, someone was going to ask him and he wasn’t prepared. He could never be prepared, no matter how many times he was asked.

“So when will you tell your soulmate? You know who they are right?” Nat asked with a slight smile. When Tony glanced at her, her smile widened.

Beside him, Steve cleared his throat and stretched his arms out. 

“Well I’m not going to wait much longer. I think we’re at the point where we can consider bonding. I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

 _Him,_ Tony thought with an ache in his stomach as he felt Steve’s arm wrap around his shoulders gently and pull him close. Maybe in some other world a Tony and a Steve could be together. Maybe that Tony would’ve been stronger, and would’ve come out of Afghanistan whole instead of broken. Maybe they were a stronger, better person than he was.

The ache grew into an awful pit in his stomach. It wasn’t right to imagine himself with Steve. He knew he had feelings for him but imagining them as mates was sick. Forbidden. _Wrong._

He really was awful.

“Tony? Are you okay?”

“Yep. Fine.” Tony mumbled, chewing his nails and hunching forward to stifle his stomach ache. 

He liked Steve. He _really_ liked Steve.

“Tony?”

Steve who belonged to someone else.

“He’s gone really pale. Maybe we should lie him down.”

Hands took hold of him and lay him down gently, positioning him until his head was resting in Steve’s lap. He felt a hand press into his hair gently and hold the position there.

“You’re okay, Tony. Take deep breaths.” He heard Steve say and carefully did as he was told, trying not to throw up as the others stared at him with growing concern. 

"I'm fine. Stomach ache." Tony croaked but still tried to smile when they searched his face.

Something in Natasha’s eyes dawned when he looked at her. Her mouth parted and she frowned before closing it.

For the first time, Tony wanted to go back into his lab and hide. Natasha knew. He _knew_ Natasha knew.

And that meant it was only a matter of time before Steve would find out too.

* * *

“What’s the problem with soul marks? They’re a huge part of society. Is it such a bad thing that people can actually find something close to love!?”

“Soul marks are just another thing to worry about. It’s not like they’re all that matters-“

“Yes they are!” 

They were having a stand off. The day after his small breakdown (not panic attack, please no) Steve had approached him early in the morning to see how he was doing. Only it had ended in a screaming match.

“They’re not important.” Tony glared, yanking the chair out from under the table and sitting in it. “I’ve not got one and look at me. I’m doing fine.”

Steve glared right back and mirrored him. They both sat and scowled at each other stuck in a stalemate. Tony could see the look in Steve’s eyes.

“Oh, no-“

Steve raised his brow.

“No, no I don’t need you thinking I’m some sort of helpless case. I’m fine-“

“Tony, it’s not a bad thing to have a soulmate. It’s an amazing thing, a gift.” Steve implored and took a deep breath. “Aren’t you excited to meet yours one day? The thought that there’s someone there for you no matter what?”

Tony didn’t have the heart to tell him there was nothing like that for him. That his body had been washed of all that hope and joy and excitement. The promise of happiness that he lost all those years ago. 

It _hurt_. It hurt to sit there and look Steve in the eye and be reminded of what he’d never have.

“You’re lucky Steve.” Tony finally settled on, watching the frown appear on Steve’s face. “Not everyone is meant to have a mate. I know I...”

Tony looked down at the table and stared. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and ducked his head further.

“Some people aren’t meant for that. They don’t...”

“They don’t deserve it. That’s what you mean.” Steve finished quietly and Tony fought against the burning in his eyes as he nodded and swallowed.

There was pin-drop silence for a moment. Then he heard Steve's chair scrape the floor. Footsteps approached until-

Huge arms wrapped around him gently and tugged him close. Steve pulled him against his torso and rested his fingers in his hair, creating this small space of warmth and safety that Tony never wanted to leave.

“You need to stop believing you don’t deserve good things Tony.” Tony heard from above him as he gently rubbed his cheek into Steve’s abdomen. The hands around him tightened and he thought he felt Steve stiffen slightly.

“I’m here. You’re never alone.”

* * *

Tony’s feelings for Steve only grew after that. More fighting and laughing and crying together had made them close-closer than anyone Tony had met in a long time. Over time, it developed into more until finally Tony couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

He loved Steve. More than anything. More than even himself.

It had been hard to accept at first but Tony had known the risks right from the start. When Fury had asked him to host what would be his small family, he’d known even then that something would change. He just hadn’t been prepared for the intensity of his own feelings.

It scared him. And it was made so much worse by the fact that Steve had someone else.

That was the strangest thing though. Tony still couldn’t understand why Steve hadn’t revealed his soulmate to anyone. Tony was sure he would’ve said something by now, what with it having been three months but nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing. And Tony never saw him being intimate with _anyone._

Then one day something did happen. They’d been out fighting AIM agents when things went south. Tony had made a critical mistake. He’d taken out a few agents and in a moment of distraction, had dropped onto the ground and had turned to look for Steve, leaving himself wide open at the back.

What had happened next was something Tony would never forget.

“TONY!” 

He heard a scream. Then the sound of rapid fire gunshot. The sound of shouts and heavy artillery. 

He remembered turning, seeing the world through the helmet and scanning as best as he could for something he was scared to see. For what he’d find.

Steve was standing there with his back to Tony holding the shield high in front of their bodies. A few feet away, five agents were collapsed on the tarmac with multiple bullet wounds. 

Awed, Tony held up a shakey hand and cleared his throat. “Ste-Cap-“

“Are you hurt?” Tony heard in the coms and watched Steve lower the shield and straighten up. He still didn’t turn towards him. “Tony, are you hurt?”

“N-no, I’m okay. I’m fine.”

“Good.” Steve replied in his ear but still wouldn’t turn which bothered Tony.

“Cap, what about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m-“ Steve broke off into staticky coughs and Tony watched in horror as Steve doubled over in front of him and started to vomit.

Blood started to drip onto the floor too.

“Oh god, Steve!” Tony grabbed Steve’s shoulder and came around to check the damage when-

The bottom of his stomach _dropped._ He felt like he was gonna be sick.

Steve must’ve taken a storm of bullets because it seemed like his whole chest was covered in blood. 

Under the helmet, Tony went bone-white. The world blurred around the edges and narrowed onto the bullet wounds that were now starting to pour blood, like a burst pipe that had finally let go. Steve was panting heavily and had his eyes shut and his head ducked down. His whole face screamed pain and pure agony.

“S-Steve...” Tony heard himself whisper and shakily reached up to try and staunch the bleeding somehow. It was almost impossible under the suit and his hands kept slipping uselessly. There was only one option.

“J-Jarvis. O-open the suit a-and-“

“Sir, I would not recommend-“

“J-Jarvis, just-“

All of a sudden, Steve’s eyes snapped open and he gasped when he saw the growing pool of blood at his feet. But then he lifted his head and looked at Tony like he was trying to meet his eyes through the suit. 

“J-Jarvis.” Steve sucked in through grit teeth. “Don’t let him out of the s-suit.” 

Mute with shock, Tony slowly shook his head, praying Steve wouldn’t-he wouldn’t-

“Tony’s in shock. I n-need evac for both of us and a med team ready- _shit_ -“ Steve then groaned and almost fell forward, only Tony instantly reached up to catch him by his shoulders, feeling his senses sharpen. Steve’s eyes were starting to flutter closed, making Tony’s heart rate skyrocket.

“I need help here now! Steve’s been shot and he’s losing blood! We need all the supplies and fast!” Tony screamed into the coms and kept his breathing as close to normal as he could. He had to stay calm-had to help Steve-

God, what would he say to Steve’s mate? How would he explain that he got him _killed_ -

 _I love him,_ Tony begged, feeling tears start to fall down his face as Steve swayed in his arms. _I love him, please, I don’t care if he’s not mine, please just let him live. Please don’t take him from me._

“Evac is on its way Tony. You’ll be okay.” Nat said calmly in his ear and Tony wanted to shake his head and explain desperately that he wasn’t the concern here-

“T-Tony...i’s okay...” Steve whispered and Tony felt more of Steve’s weight all of a sudden. “It’ll...be okay...”

“ _Steve..._ ” Tony choked and began to sob quietly, feeling for all the world like he was the worst person out there. That he was so cursed and awful and selfish that he'd killed Captain America. That he'd killed the person he loved.

“Oh god... _please_...” Tony continued to cry, feeling tears stream down his face as he promised himself that if Steve came out of this alive he’d never go near him again, he’d never touch him or love him, or ever hurt him again. He was cursed. Soulless, and this was what he did.

“Sorry...I’m sorry...” Tony sniffed and Steve, despite the blood loss, stiffened and lifted up a shakey hand to wrap around Tony’s waist. Slowly, he squeezed hard enough for Tony to feel it through the suit.

“Shhhh...you’re okay...you’re al-alright...”

The roar of helicopters emerged. Tony felt voices echo and hands pull Steve away. His eyes drifted shut and silently he prayed.

He’d give anything for Steve to be okay. Absolutely anything.

* * *

Tony was taken aside to an area with civilians and sat down on some rubble by the med area Shield had set up. Steve was with him too by an ambulance and helicopter nearby but he could barely register. The world was hazy and he felt like he was drifting. He thought he heard Nat giving instructions in his com to the medics and felt someone slip fingers under his neck and click the manual release for his helmet. It was lifted off and Tony felt the sticky unpleasantness of sweat dampening his forehead and the back of his neck. He shivered and felt the wind brush against his tear stricken cheeks, wondering if maybe he was better of with the helmet back on. This couldn’t be a pretty sight.

“Checking pupil responses. The Captain says he’s not injured but he seems to be going into shock. Mr. Stark, can you hear me?” 

There was a medic in front of him holding a pen light. A few others were starting to join them, all carrying bags and some other equipment. Tony watched them pull out an O2 sat device and a blood pressure cuff. 

Fingers tapped his cheek gently. Slowly he looked up.

“Mr. Stark, can you hear me? I said we need you to open the rest of the suit.”

Tony blinked. The com in his ear spoke.

“Have Jarvis give you his vitals.” Clint said and the medics all nodded and spoke rapidly to each other, one grabbing a cool towel and pressing it to the back of his neck. Another pressed fingers to his neck and took his pulse. 

“He’s not responding to verbal cues but he is aware. It’s almost like he’s gone into bond shock. Does he have a mate?” 

“We think it’s Steve but not confirmed.” Nat said firmly and Tony blinked at that.

“I-I’m n-not...” Tony blinked again. A third time. Fourth. “I don’t h-have a mate.”

“Mr, Stark, I want you to take a deep breath for me and start naming five things you can see. Do you understand?” 

“The ambulance. The sky. The...people behind you. My hands.” Which were shaking badly in his lap. Slowly he closed them and opened them, trying to get them to warm up a little. “Your pen-light.”

The lead medic nodded encouragingly and continued to check him over. “Good, that’s very good, now four things you can feel.”

This carried on for a short while. Slowly Tony felt his muscles start to loosen and his shakes start to decrease. He felt weak and a little light-headed, but no where near as bad as he was before. His thoughts still felt muzzled but at least he could sit up and think.

“Where’s Steve?” He asked, fidgeting when the medic placed a device in his ear and waited for it to beep. 

“He’s being seen just over there with the other team. He’s fine, doing well.” The medic hummed and called out a number to his colleague. “Ninety-seven. Starting to stabilize.”

Tony blinked and tilted his head. “My temperature?”

“Yes, Mr Stark. How’re you feeling now?”

“Better.” Tony lied and looked around. “I need to see Steve.”

“You’re in no condition. We’ve just gotten you verbal. You need to relax.” The medic sighed and looked at the ambulance a few feet away. “Your mates’ gonna be fine. I’m getting reports that they’ve stabilized him.”

“He’s gonna be okay?”

“Yes.” The medic smiled gently. “It’s hard. I get it, my mate had an accident a few years ago. I couldn’t even stand up that day.”

Tony frowned and squeezed his hands tightly. “I don’t have a mate.”

“You’ve just suffered a severe case of bond shock. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about Mr. Stark. In fact when I-“

“No, you’re not listening.” Tony jerked his head up adamantly, feeling something snap. “I don’t have a mate. I don’t even have a mark.”

But the medic just smiled softly and shook his head. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I think you’re doing a lot better now though.” He said and stood up. “Would you like to see him?”

“Yes. Now please.”

With the help of his lead medic, Tony stood up and walked towards the ambulance, approaching the hardworking group of medics that swarmed the gurney that Steve was lying on. There were wires and IVs and machines which Tony had never pictured they’d be able to set up so quickly. Tony could see they were already replacing an empty blood bag.

Steve looked awfully pale on the gurney and was watching with his lids half-way. Frankly it was amazing that he was still awake. 

They’d unzipped the top half of his uniform and had already scrubbed away and wrapped his torso in several bandages but he there was still so much blood Tony couldn't even see his chest. The helicopter nearby was starting to open its hatch and Tony figured they were getting ready to take Steve up to the Helicarrier for further support.

But Steve was awake. He was _alive_.

“I have his mate here.” His medic said and the group around Steve all nodded and parted like the Red Sea for him.

“Come this way Mr. Stark.”

Tony once remembered reading an article about soulmates. How if a bond was strong enough the pain of one mate could actually start to transcend into the other. Not physical pain but a phantom pain that mimicked the sensations. He’d remembered scoffing and picking up his whiskey to take a drink. He’d never have believed it before and even if he did, he’d never feel it. That was probably the only plus side.

Standing beside Steve, Tony’s chest was throbbing in a harsh rhythm. Like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest and lava was flowing down his body. It would’ve freaked him out if it hadn’t been for the way his body was dulled.

_“It’s a defense mechanism. The partner mate’s body will shut down some of the nociceptors so that they don’t feel the same level of intensity as the other. But as they come out of it, they start to get a sensation of what their mate’s going through before everything calms down. It’s important that the partner mate has a clear understanding of what’s going on and that they can see that their mate is safe.”_

The documentary had made them sound primitive. Tony was starting to feel like maybe they were.

Silently, Tony reached out and took Steve’s limp hand in his own. Slowly he closed his hand around it and squeezed, hoping Steve could feel it.

“Steve...” Tony said quietly, feeling something ease a little when Steve looked at him sleepily. “Are you...”

Almost knowingly, Steve smiled. “I’m fine Tony. I’ll be alright.” He shifted and tried to hide his grimace when one of the medics tugged at one of the lines. But then he looked back at Tony with a gentle expression.

“How’re you holding up?” He whispered and like a wave, Tony felt relief crash into him so hard his vision swam and his chest felt like it was on fire. Luckily the medic behind him steadied him. But Steve’s eyes sharpened.

“He’s still in shock. Make sure he has something to drink.” Steve said firmly despite being the one on the table with his stomach bleeding. Tony almost wanted to laugh at the irony.

“He’s starting to stabilize Captain, we’re keeping a close eye-“

“His pain threshold is higher.” Steve said darkly, eyes flickering between Tony and the medics. “That already means he’s gonna feel more pain down the bond.”

“Captain Rogers you-“

“Don’t worry about me.” Steve cut in, eyes now fixed on Tony. “I need him okay, you understand? That’s an order.”

“Yes sir.”

Tony didn’t know what to think. He didn’t even know what to say.

Except... 

“I’m sorry.” Tony swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut tight. “I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Tony, no, c'mon, I’m alright. I’ll be fine. As long as you’re-“

“Why’d you do it?” Tony blurted, snapping his eyes open to glare harshly at Steve through bloodshot eyes. His chest was killing him but he wasn’t letting this go.

“Do what?”

“You-you know!” Tony waved his hand up and nearly knocked one of the medics. “You jumped in front of me! You took _bullets_ for me!”

Something hardened in Steve’s gaze. His blue eyes turned to steel even despite the pain lining his face.

“I’d do it again. Every time.”

Rage began to brew in Tony’s heart. The thought of Steve doing this again was _unimaginable._

“I’m in a suit!” Tony shouted, gritting his teeth together. “I can take it! You shouldn’t have done it!”

“I don’t know that! All I know is that you could get hurt and it could be my fault!” Steve roared back, equally fierce like a lion defending its family. Steve always did have a certain presence about him.

“You got hurt!”

“You _would’ve_ gotten hurt if I hadn’t intervened! Admit it!”

“I don’t care!” Tony screamed and the anger completely disappeared off Steve’s face at the reaction. “You’re hurt and it’s all my-“

His mind went blank when Steve instantly reached out and pressed a hand to his cheek gently. His mouth clamped shut and his whole body froze in shock. 

Steve was...he was...

“You’re safe. That’s the most important thing to me. Do you understand?” Steve’s voice suddenly dropped to a hoarse whisper and he swept his thumb under Tony’s eye softly. 

Tony couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even breathe. 

“Steve...”

“Mr. Stark, we need to get him to medical-“

“Steve...” Tony could hear the medics around him. Could hear the distant sounds of people, a crowd gathering around them watching a scene that was meant for only the closest of couples-Steve was cupping his cheek and telling him his safety was the most important thing to him. 

The world was watching. The heat of Steve’s hand on his cheek was searing, even more so that the weight on his chest. If there was ever such a thing as claiming...Steve had just done it.

The medics pulled Steve away before he could snap out of his daze. Steve’s hand brushing him as it fell woke him up from the dream scenario he was facing. As he came back to himself he met eyes with Steve who was watching him with a drowsy smile again.

“See you on the other side.” Steve whispered and then winked at him before he was wheeled away, leaving Tony to try and control how much he was shaking. In the background he could hear the medics talking and the people in the background clapping and cheering. Some people were shouting _‘Ironman’_ over and over while others were beaming and pointing at him and touching their cheeks.

Slowly Tony turned and looked at the crowd in the distance. A sea of phones and smiles met him. Lucky day for them since he’d never had someone touch him so intimately in public before.

When he’d become what the world quickly identified as a superhero, he’d never pictured a moment like this. Where something as simple as Steve cupping his face would make so many people so...

_So happy._

“I...”

“Tony! Are you alright!?” Clint yelled out as he ran towards him at the speed of sound. 

Clint grabbed the shoulder of the armor and turned him around gently, nodding to the medics to signal he'd take over.

“Hey buddy, you alright?” Clint asked quietly and thankfully that was enough to make Tony focus.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Tony said softly and felt himself go distant again as Clint began to circle him, checking for any damage to the armor. He thought he felt Clint grip his arms and stretch them out to check his torso. Weird since he was fine and Steve was the one who-

“Hey.” Clint paused his check and stood in front of him again. “He’s gonna be alright. You know he is.”

“I...did you-“ Tony shook his head and blinked back against the burning sensation in his eyes. “Did you see what he-what he did?”

Clint gave him an odd look but went back to his checking. “Yeah, of course.”

“And you’re not...surprised?”

“Well sure.” He caught Clint shrugging from the corner of his eye. “I mean it’s surprising to see you two doing something like that in public but you did just come out of a fight. Whatever you two do is between you both anyway. It’s cute.”

All of a sudden it was too much. Like screaming into a void and realizing nothing would come back. How did Clint not get it?

“He shouldn’t have done that!” Tony snarled and yanked his hand away from Clint. “He has a mate to think about!”

He was met with irritation, confusion and then a look of dawning realization. Then Clint’s face went completely blank like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You’re kidding.” Clint blinked and then shook his head slowly like he was speaking to a child. “You honestly don’t know.”

Tony could’ve strangled him. 

“What don’t I know?”

“You’re his mate. His soulmate. It’s you, Tony. Everyone knows.”

_"It’s almost like he’s gone into bond shock. Does he have a mate?”_

_“We think it’s Steve but not confirmed.”_

_No. **No way.**_

_It's not possible. It's not **POSSIBLE.**_

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?” 

Clint instantly jumped back in horror. Desperately he held his hands out for peace.

“Tony-“

“I’M NOT HIS SOULMATE! I **HAVE** NO SOULMATE-!”

“Tony-“

“AND I WILL **_NEVER_ **HAVE A SOULMA-“

“TONY!” Clint screamed back and Tony froze.

He was breathing heavily and he could see Nat and Bruce and Thor eyeing him from behind Clint, a few feet away. The crowd of people recording were now muttering to each other and there was no doubt everyone had heard every single word. Every little piece of himself he vowed to never share.

His therapist would’ve been proud.

“Steve would be.” Clint laughed breathlessly and inched back when Tony growled at him.

“Shut up.” Tony grumbled and clenched his fists, not resisting when Clint began to tug him towards the Shield vehicles that were pulling up. 

He had to sort this out. Once and for all.

* * *

Hours later, he was in a hospital room on the Helicarrier, waiting for Steve to wake up. His lead medic had quickly found him as soon as he (and the rest of the team) had reached the Helicarrier. They’d run more checks on him under Fury’s orders and had found him to be more stable than before. Apparently that had been enough for them to leave him alone with Steve in the Medbay.

Tony felt much better for it. He didn’t argue.

The sun was starting to set just outside. From his seat beside Steve's bed, Tony could see through the window the sky fanning out into an array of oranges and pinks. Down below people were walking with their soulmates and smiling and feeling complete.

Tony had never felt more alone than he did now. And here he was with a man that belonged to someone else. They were all wrong.

He was not Steve’s soulmate. He was no one's soulmate.

A quiet groan pulled him out of his thoughts and when he turned, he was met with a soft, sleepy grin on Steve’s face. Steve was looking at him like he’d just woken up from a dream. 

“Steve.” Tony murmured and sat up. “How do you feel?”

Steve blinked a couple of times but didn’t stop smiling at him. Then he spoke.

“I’m okay. I think. Nothing the serum won’t solve.” Steve said quietly and then glanced at himself on the bed. He was covered in a thick duvet to keep him warm. That had been Tony’s suggestion since Steve hated the cold.

“Steve I...I need to ask you something. And I’m only gonna ask once.” Tony swallowed and clenched his fists. “Who do you think your mate is?”

There was silence. The loud sort of silence that pressed in on you. The kind that spoke volumes and made it clear that there was more going on than a simple question.

Tony met Steve’s eye. And knew the answer before he even confirmed it.

“I know it’s you.” Steve said quietly from the hospital bed and suddenly it was like Tony couldn’t breathe.

“What?”

“My soulmate. It’s you.” Steve repeated confidently like he wasn’t threatening Tony’s body with a heart attack. He couldn’t be serious...

_Could he?_

Denial set in and Tony did what he did best. 

“Steve. You’ve had a long day. You were hit pretty bad-“

“Don’t tell me my feelings aren’t real, Tony.” Steve suddenly growled and Tony stiffened for a second before looking up to meet Steve’s fierce expression. Somehow, even bed-bound Steve was managing to shift him onto the back-foot. Something about Steve was always in control even after being tossed into the air by an army of bots. Or taking a dozen plus bullets for his friend.

“I know you know what I’m talking about.” Steve carried on and pushed himself up on his elbows to look Tony in the eye. “This thing? This thing we have between us? It’s more. We have something more.”

The joke was on him. He’d gotten too comfy. Far too close. Now Steve was convinced that his one soul mark had to belong to him. If he hadn’t gotten so close to Steve, none of this would’ve happened.

His greed was torturing them both. He was selfish and Steve didn’t even know. Hell, Steve wouldn’t even be in this bed if it wasn’t for him.

“That’s not true.” He felt sick to his stomach. Like someone was pounding into him over and over. Slowly, he dropped his head into his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. It didn’t help.

“Of course it’s true.” Steve said sharply, almost cutting into him. “You went into shock. _Bond_ shock. And badly. You know that’s not possible without-“

“I don’t have any soul marks left.” Tony admitted reluctantly and then looked up again, only this time he was calm. Even Steve’s quickly paling expression was doing nothing to stop him.

Sometimes there was no escaping the truth. He should’ve told Steve months ago.

“I haven’t had a mark for years. My last one disappeared after Afghanistan. I’ve been alone since.” He explained tiredly, suddenly feeling the wave of pain and loneliness he’d faced after Afghanistan appear and rear its ugly head. It had been a while since he’d felt this low.

“I must’ve changed the course when I changed in Afghanistan. That must’ve been the reason.” Tony sighed and turned to look out of the window again. The rays painted a code of color around the room, and in the center, Steve stared back at him. 

_If only..._

“Prove it.” Steve suddenly said and met his gaze head on with barely contained rage even with being incapacitated in a hospital bed. Whether he was angry at the situation or him was a complete mystery but Tony wasn’t going to comment. Instead, he barked out a laugh at the imagery.

“What, you want me to strip-?”

“As soon as we get home.”

Tony snapped his mouth shut and jerked his head up in shock. 

“What?” But Steve was nodding resolutely and Tony’s heart sank because once Steve made up his mind about something, he didn’t let go.

“That’s right. As soon as we get home. You’re going to show me.” Steve said and narrowed his eyes at him like he was the target. “And prove to me that we’re soulmates.”

“We’re not.” Tony breathed but of course, Steve wasn’t having it.

“Say that again when you’ve proved it to me. Now when can I get out?”

* * *

When they all headed back a few days later, the trip was silent. Steve had told the others openly what was going on. Steve was going to confirm the bond as soon as they got home.

And make Tony his mate. Permanently.

When Tony tried to explain again for what must’ve been the seventeenth time, everyone had shushed him and told him to wait. They’d all know soon enough.

Tony was nervous. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t stop shifting and bouncing his leg on the drive back.

“Tony.” Steve said beside him but still refused to look at him. He’d been livid since their chat. “Relax. It won’t hurt.”

“It’s not that!” He snapped and instantly shrank back in his seat while the driver pulled them into the tower back entrance. He was in the middle with Steve on his left and Nat on his right. The others were in the car behind them. Lucky for him since it was already awkward enough.

“He’s not afraid to bond. He wants it.” Nat filled in helpfully and Tony glared daggers at her, especially when Steve lit up. “I think he’s more worried about not having your mark.”

“I know I don’t have it!”

“When was the last time you looked at your body? When was the last time you actually checked?”

Tony whipped his head around and glared at Steve instead. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not. But things change. We’ve changed. Have you checked for marks since we first met?”

“Marks don’t just come and go.” Tony scowled and folded his arms to hide how much they were shaking. “They just go. Simple as.”

“I don’t think there’s a rule for mates who’ve been frozen in ice for a couple of decades.”

“I’m not your mate!”

“We’ll see.” Steve said firmly, looking like he had laser focus and was about to commence the most important mission of his life. Nat on the other hand looked incredibly smug andTony nearly wanted to scream. How did they not get it!?

“We’re here.”

Once the cars pulled up, the team disembarked and went up to the communal floor. All six of them marching to war or maybe that was just how Tony felt. The tension was palpable but there was also excitement.

Finally they reached the living room. And one by one Nat, Clint, Thor and Bruce settled in the couches, leaving just Tony and Steve standing in the center.

Suddenly Tony’s mouth went completely dry. Would they really do this in front of the team?

“I don’t want to humiliate myself in front of all of you here. This is embarrassing enough.” Tony grumbled and hated how everyone’s faces fell at the words. Steve however just shook his head stepped closer to him.

“Come with me. Where do you prefer?”

"My room.” So that he could stay there and never come out afterwards.

“Fine.” Steve said and with a nod at the rest of the team, he guided Tony away with a hand on the small of his back. “We’ll be in the penthouse. Don’t disturb us.”

“Of course, Cap.” Nat winked, and before the reached the door, Tony noticed Steve nodding at Thor. 

They went up the elevator in complete silence. Tony said nothing and so did Steve. There was nothing to say. Just the truth.

“Steve, I don’t have a soul mark. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

The numbers ticked up, they were only seconds away.

“I’ve known it’s you from the start. When you woke up after the Chitauri fight and I saw your arc reactor. Thor saw too.” Steve said calmly, keeping still in a false show of control. “I know. And I have so many feelings for you. More than you could imagine.”

Heat burned on Tony’s cheeks. He didn’t know what to say. For once he was actually speechless.

The door slid open and they made their way to Tony’s bedroom. As soon as they were in and Jarvis turned on the lights, Steve folded his arms and nodded.

“Okay Tony.” Steve instructed and shifted on his feet. “Now or never.”

“How about never?” Tony grumbled but slowly began to take off his shoes and suit jacket. He was wearing a black suit jacket, a shirt and some jeans so it wouldn’t take long. Just a few buttons to undo and-

“Allow me.” Steve said softly and brushed his hands away to start unbuttoning Tony’s shirt. Swallowing, Tony licked his lips to moisten them and looked away. Steve was so close he could feel his heat against his skin.

“Steve...” But Steve just shook his head and carried on. Another button loosened and somehow Steve was on the last one before Tony could even catch his breath. The shirt opened and Tony’s abs were fully exposed under the blue glow of the reactor.

No mark yet. Or ever. Just like always. He skin was plain as a sheet. Nothing but scars and false hope.

Suddenly it was like there was a stone in his throat and he could barely swallow. His eyes stung as he realized that he was right.

“I-“ His voice broke but at Steve’s insistence, he let Steve tug off his shirt until his whole front was exposed including his collar bones. Nothing.

“Your pants next Tony.” Steve said firmly, starting to sound desperate and Tony hated that Steve was starting to get it. It hurt more than he could imagine. Steve would finally see his body for what it was; a blank canvas with nothing to give. No hope of anything.

Slowly, he reached for his belt and removed it, steadying his hands against the rising shame. Steve watched him with laser focus but when their eyes met, just seconds before Tony was about to take off his pants, Steve’s gaze softened. It said one thing.

_Trust me._

Sucking in a deep breath, Tony pulled them down and stepped out of them, taking off his socks too until he was just standing in his boxers and nothing else. 

And there was nothing. No marks on his legs, or ankles or even the base of his feet. _Nothing_.

Something broke in Tony’s heart. Like the last vestiges of hope falling away into the distance. Like being close to the sun and then watching the light fade out. Every last hope and dream and shred of happiness and companionship.

Steve had been wrong. Just like Tony had thought.

They said nothing for a moment. It was far worse than disappointment.

When Tony looked up, he could see the devastation in Steve’s eyes. He looked close to tears.

“Tony...” Steve whispered and shook his head silently, like he didn’t want to accept it. Like he didn’t know how. Tony almost felt sorry for him and wanted to comfort him.

But it wasn’t his place. It never had been.

“Yeah, like I said. I don’t have a mark.” Tony said softly and with trembling lips, bent down to pick up his pants, feeling like he was going to break. Only then-

“Tony!” Steve gasped and instantly pulled Tony back up, gripping him tight by his shoulders. Tony froze in his grip, feeling stunned.

Steve was gaping at him. His eyes were huge and so so wide.

“Steve?” Tony asked but Steve just clamped his mouth shut and shook his head, gently turning Tony around until he could see his back. Then he just stopped.

“Steve? What is it?” 

The air changed behind him and he sucked in a sharp breath, mentally preparing for the worst. What was wrong, why was-

“Oh, Tony.” Steve whispered shakily and ever so gently brushed his thumbs against his shoulder blades. His skin buzzed and felt burning hot under the touch but it was Steve’s voice that really hit.

“Steve?” 

“ _Oh my god_.” Steve breathed and Tony tried desperately not to push Steve’s hand away as he slid his whole hands onto his shoulders. Carefully he began to slide his hands down along Tony’s back until finally they curled around and settled onto his waist comfortably. 

A weird feeling of warmth swept over him at the touch. Almost instantly, he felt his mind start to go fuzzy and his body start to sway.

He felt warm and weirdly faint. Like the world was strangely distant and-

_Oh-_

“Okay, hold on, I’m gonna lift you up okay? Tony, is that okay?”

“Y-yeah...” Tony whispered and felt Steve come around hold his shoulders and then drop down to lift him by his knees. What was happening?

“It’s okay Tony. It’s just the bond.”

What had happened? What was Steve talking about?

“B-bond?” Tony breathed and stared up at Steve through bleary eyes. “W-what bond?”

“Your mark Tony. Your-“ Steve’s calm facade started to chip away. A tear fell down his cheek as he looked down at Tony and smiled. “I’ve seen your mark.”

“My...mark?”

“Yes.” Steve said softly and then lay him down on the bed. He knelt beside him and began to pull his own shirt off.

“What’re you-“ But then Tony stopped and stared. There was a huge mark that was almost identical to Steve’s shield on Steve’s chest, just a few inches smaller than the actual shield. But at the center of the shield was a small neon blue circle with small lines coming out. It almost glowed against the colors of the shield and sat dead and center, replacing the usual place of the star and that’s when Tony understood.

It looked exactly like his arc reactor. _Exactly_ like it.

“Wow...” Tony whispered and reached up to touch the center of the mark just on the center of Steve’s chest. It was so big and-

His mom had once said that the bigger the mark the stronger the bond and the stronger the bond, the stronger the love. And that was a lot- _a lot_ of love. Tony had never seen a mark bigger.

“You should see yours.” Steve smiled and at Tony’s puzzled look, he rolled him over gently until he was on his stomach and reached for Tony’s phone on the bedside table. A few clicks and then Steve let him roll back.

“Let me see.” Tony said excitedly, feeling his heart start to race and Steve handed him the phone with a clear picture. When Tony saw it, he nearly gaped.

He had the exact same mark but it was just as big and almost completely covered his back. It started past his shoulder blades and encompassed his whole back, diving down into the small of his back. It was huge. It was _massive._

Tony nearly dropped the phone but thankfully Steve caught it and took it away. 

“Do you see? Do you see now?” Steve whispered softly and lay down beside him on the bed, leaning over him carefully. “We’re meant to be. Right from the start.”

“I can’t believe it.” Tony said faintly, but felt his lips curve into a huge smile when he felt Steve press a kiss to his hair gently. "I have a mark."

“You’re mine. And I’m yours. I want to bond with you Tony.” Steve breathed and touched his forehead against Tony’s as if he just wanted to be near him. “Will you be my soulmate? Will you let me complete the bond?”

A whole world of possibilities opened. This was just the start.

He wasn’t alone. He was never alone.

Steve loved him and he loved Steve. He felt like he was gonna burst.

“ _Yes!_ ” Tony gasped and crashed his lips to Steve’s, feeling tears of joy begin to fall. And just as strongly, he felt Steve’s hands slip under him to span across his back. 

The mark of Steve’s shield on his back. His love and protection and care and soul. The mark set in his skin forever.

A life of companionship and happiness. Tony had never been happier.

 _Thank you._ Tony thought, smiling up at Steve. _Thank you for being mine._

_Fin_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> And there you have it! Please do tell me if you enjoyed it! I had so much fun writing it and I'd love to know what you think :)
> 
> I just want to say a massive thank you to Holly for the wonderful fic you wrote on soulmates and for allowing me to create a remix for it! I absolutely loved The Loneliest Number and I had so much fun writing this!! I hope you enjoy this and it makes you smile as much as your fic did for me :D


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